Five lessons We Have Learned From the Ashes
One
Trent Bridge — should be one of England’s fortresses
England should play all home Tests against Australia either at Edgbaston or Trent Bridge. This may not suit southerners but there is sound logic to this:
1) Both are geographically placed in the centre of the country, bizarrely referred to as the Midlands.
2) Both — unlike the Rose Bowl, Cardiff and Old Trafford… and I wouldn’t even bother to mention Chester le Street — are highly accessible and have ample accommodation as nobody goes there (unlike London) unless they really have to.
3) England generally win at these two venues, which should actually be reason No1, but is cunningly disguised as No3.
4) The beer is cheaper.
By all means play all other test series’ and commercially driven rubbish — ODIs & T20s that are just for the corporate Hurray-Henrys and, as such, cricket for people who don’t like cricket — at the other grounds.
Two
Australia should continue to choose their National selectors, as they currently do, on their ability to consume vast quantities of lager between Sydney and London, rather on their knowledge of the abilities or form of the players at their disposal. That way match winners like Peter Siddle won’t have a chance to spoil the party.
Three
- A) Any England batsman who gets out slogging should be dropped for the next test. Particularly those, like Lyth, who shouldn’t be there in the first place.
- B) It is illogical to promote an embarrassingly out of form batsman to No3. It was a stupid plan and it didn’t work. Probably time to hang up the boots, Belly.
Four
Moeem Ali can do no wrong.
Moeem Ali — great beard and can do no wrong
He was the only batsman, other than Root — who is supposed to make runs — to show any technical ability and patience at the crease. He also takes wickets because:
1) He is generally considered to be a ‘pie-chucker, therefore most of the Aussies (who generally batted as badly as most of England’s did) had already decided he had to be hit out of the attack.
2) He has (and here I agree with Graeme Swann) never been coached to bowl finger spin and therefore has correctly worked out how to do it himself.
3) He has a terrific beard.
Five
Graeme Swann is a good addition to the TMS team. He is knowledgeable, informative and entertaining in much the same way that Tuffers is irritating.
I never thought I’d say this, as I still cannot forgive him for bailing after England went 3-0 down in the Australia in December 2013. Presumably, fearing a repeat of this, the BBC only game him a one-match contract. Time for a change of spinners, BBC please.