MEN: WE’RE ALL GROSS, AREN’T WE?

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I had a slight altercation with my step daughter the other evening. I’d been out for a run and got caught in a thunderstorm, so when I arrived home, I resembled a drowned sheep. Having triaged the impact of entering … Continue reading

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THE ASTON V8 VANTAGE AND A JOLLY GOOD ROAD TRIP TO POLAND

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I haven’t blogged for a while because I’ve been busy trying to survive life in the Upper Silesian countryside… that’s Poland, by the way. I’m currently residing in a town called Grodków – my wife’s home town – which has … Continue reading

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SLOW HORSES

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I’ve not blogged for a bit because I’ve been immersed in re-writing my Irish satirical Sci-Fi novel. You remember the one? Of course you do… oh well if you don’t, here’s a link to Compound 19: https://maverickwriter.co.uk/books/compound-19/. Don’t hold your … Continue reading

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WATCHED NETFLIX’ BERLIN YET? SAVE YOURSELF SOME TIME – DON’T BOTHER

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I’ve had an utterly miserable Christmas. On Christmas Eve, my car broke down in Ronda and on Christmas Day I picked up pneumonia, from which I have now more or less recovered. As a consequence, I watched a lot of … Continue reading

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THE PINK PANTHER – A CAR FOR ALL REASONS… OR NONE AT ALL?

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Chic@s! Apologies, but this is a car blog. If you’re not interested in cars, please go and water the garden. Prologue: A year ago last week I changed my car. I blogged about it, promising a follow-up to inform you … Continue reading

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RUGBY WORLD CUP REVIEW, AND AN EVEREST ANNIVESARY

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If you read my last blog, you’ll probably understand why I’ve had quite a worrysome week. If you haven’t, let me tell you. Last Friday, on my flight from Stansted to Malaga, I “apprehended” a prisoner on the run who … Continue reading

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“I DON’T HATE PEOPLE. I JUST FEEL BETTER WHEN THEY’RE NOT AROUND”.

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‘Ya’alrite love?’ I’m standing in the scanner thing the security gestapo put people with pacemakers into after they’ve informed everyone in the entire airport that you have a pacemaker. It used to bother me, but it doesn’t any more. But … Continue reading

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THE ONLY WAY IS BANUS

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If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you’ll know that my nearest & dearest has been working for a friend’s high-end property management company throughout this summer. I can’t recall her having had a day off in the last … Continue reading

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WHY I’M PUTTING ONE HUNDRED QUID ON ENGLAND TO WIN THE RUGBY WORLD CUP

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On Saturday evening, Steve Borthwick called in at the HR Owen dealership on his way home from Twickenham and bought a Ferrari to cheer himself up, because his afternoon hadn’t gone quite as well as he’d expected. However, while deliberating … Continue reading

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STUPIDITY – THE FINAL FRONTIER

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Now, I know you all think that I’m the luckiest person on earth, living in Marbella, but I’m not. I would be the luckiest person on earth if I lived in Marbella for ten months of the year, and could … Continue reading

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I DON’T LIKE CRICKET – I LOVE IT!

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Yesterday evening I found myself with an hour to kill before collecting the wife from the airport, so I switched on the telly, hoping to find a spot of cricket. What I found instead was the BBC 6 o’clock News, … Continue reading

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OLD DOGS – NEW TRICKS? 9 THINGS YOU SHOULD EXPERIENCE BEFORE YOU END UP DRIBBLING IN THE NURSING HOME

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You may have noticed that I’ve not blogged for a while. And there again, you may not have. This is because I’ve been kept busy with the ghost-writing project – you know, the one about the German guy who made … Continue reading

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“IT’S A RED, JIM, BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT”

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A friend of mine brightened my ablutions (okay, you don’t need to know that) with a text this morning. “Good morning,’ he texted, ‘read this quickly in an Irish accent: whale… oil… beef… hooked.” Go on – you try it; … Continue reading

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JUST HORSIN’ AROUND?

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A horse walks into a pub, takes a seat at the bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The barman pours him a pint and asks, “Why the long face?” There are long faces aplenty at Vilamoura Equestrian Centre … Continue reading

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SOCCER – THE BEAUTIFUL GAME?

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I’m in Barcelona. I’m here for two reasons: the first is that my wife decided to visit some friends who were staying the night here. The fact that these friends live in Poland in the town next to my wife’s, … Continue reading

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THE SLOW, PAINFUL DEATH… OF RUGBY

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I’ve not blogged for a while, because I’ve been busy with my ghost-writing project – you know, the one I can’t tell you about. But I’ve not forgotten that I owe you the follow-up blog about my new toy (in … Continue reading

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ALL AT SEA

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Amigos! This is a two-part blog. DAY ONE – ALL AT SEA I’m at sea as I write this. Somewhere in the middle of the Eastern Atlantic, off the west coast of France. I’m aboard the Galicia, operated by Brittany … Continue reading

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WON’T YOU PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME?

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WARNING: This is not one of my regular blogs, amigos! What it is, is a serious appeal for help; a plea for help addressed to my soccer-loving acquaintances in particular, and to anyone else who understands the game of soccer … Continue reading

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GENERATION Z AND THE RIGHT TO BE OFFENDED

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Do you want to know what worries me most about the world as it is at the moment? Probably not, but you’re going to hear it anyway. It’s not the soaring price of energy, nor is it Doby the House … Continue reading

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GET OUT OF JAIL – AND ADVANCE TO PRAGUE – IF YOU CAN FIND IT

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Now I know that some of you will deny that you envy my life here in Marbella. It’s the best place in the world, and I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. Except in August. In August it’s too hot, … Continue reading

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FAREWELL LETTER TO BORIS

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Dear Mr Johnson, I am writing to express my appreciation for the time you spent in office, and the contribution you made to the political legacy of this once great country. It can’t have been easy; in the three years … Continue reading

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BUSY DOING NOTHING …

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Workin’ the whole day throughTryin’ to find lots of things not to do I haven’t blogged for ages and here’s why: this post-pandemic world is in such a pitifully grim state that I felt incumbent not to depress you further. … Continue reading

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WAITING FOR DONALD

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WITH THANKS AND APOLOGIES TO SAM BECKETT, a fellow Old Portoran Vladimir and Boris meet near a tree in Ukraine. They converse on various topics and reveal that they are waiting there for a man named Donald. While they wait, … Continue reading

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MY GREAT BIG ANDALUCÍAN ROAD TRIP

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Last week, I had a holiday.
And before you say that my entire life is a holiday, let me tell you that it isn’t.
Well, not entirely anyway.
Having a car – and quite a decent car – in Spain and rarely using it is a bit of a waste; and a waste that prompted the idea for a mini road trip around Andalucía. Continue reading

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WHERE DO YOU SIT WITH THE GREAT HEADDRESS DEBATE?

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Exeter Chiefs’ trip to play Glasgow Warriors in the European Cup on Saturday has become a hot topic, for reasons unrelated to rugby. Political correctness has raised its head again, with the “snowflakes” in one trench and the traditionalists, dinosaurs, … Continue reading

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ORGANIC CHAT-CHAT — AND A NASTY BOUT OF GASTROENTERITIS

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I haven’t blogged for a long time and this has been most remiss of me. Of course, this have not have had a negative impact on your life but in case it has, please allow me to apologise and present … Continue reading

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A LIFE IN THE WEEK OF RICHIE MALONE — WEEK FIVE

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HOW TO CURE A PORN ADDICTION Tuesday afternoon … If you happen to have a porn addiction and want go get over it, what you need to do is to get yourself invited to the set of a movie. I’ve … Continue reading

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THE LIONS … AND LOSING THE PLOT

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Before we get our teeth into my analysis of yesterday’s events in Cape Town, my editor reminded me that my first novel, Losing The Plot was published two years ago today. If you’ve not read it, may I suggest that … Continue reading

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A LIFE IN THE WEEK OF RICHIE MALONE – WEEK FOUR

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It’s a glorious early July Monday afternoon, and all is well in the world of Richie Malone. And although I don’t know it, they’re about to get even better in a totally unexpected way. I’ve just had a meeting with … Continue reading

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A LIFE IN THE WEEK OF RICHIE MALONE

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WEEK THREE. Amigos, Richie’s Facebook page seems to have been deleted and he has asked me to share his blog with you on my website because, while he’s great at many things, technology is a bloody nightmare for him. UNDER … Continue reading

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A LIFE IN THE WEEK OF RICHIE MALONE

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WEEK TWO As Richie is still unable to re-boot his Facebook page he has again asked me to post his blog. Yeah … no problem, Richie … just don’t make it a regular occurrence! Okay, let’s get the soccer out … Continue reading

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PANDEMIC ROAD TRIP, PART ONE

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Pandemics, it would seem, are a good time to travel. In a previous blog, I told you how the cascade of air travel had calmed to a trickle and how the hustle of airports had faded to an almost sepulchral … Continue reading

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THE LIONS, THE BOOK AND THE WARDROBE

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There, that got your attention, didn’t it? Okay, hands up – there’s nothing about a wardrobe in this blog, but it sounded good. This blog is about two totally contrasting issues – my new book, Saving Dave, and the selection … Continue reading

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My Inspiration for SAVING DAVE

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What inspired me to write Saving Dave? Next week I have an interview with Hannah Murray. Hannah hosts a programme called The Book Show on Radio Talk Europe, and last interviewed me back in October 2019, when Losing The Plot … Continue reading

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Saving Dave, and the ten positivos of COVID

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It’s a long time since I last blogged. Of course, to many of you the silence may have been golden, but with an “event horizon” looming close, it’s time to put finger to keyboard once again. And what, you may … Continue reading

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SPOT BLOG SPOT

I had to take Spot for a walk. It had become so big I could almost put a lead on it. ‘Oh querida!’ exclaims the pharmacist. ‘Que terrible!’ ‘Yes, it is terrible,’ I reply. ‘What is it?’ ‘I’d rather hoped … Continue reading

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Who’s Got The Biggest One? Vocabulary, that is.

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The other day, I had an interesting debate with some of my advanced students about who’s got the biggest one … vocabulary, that is. English naturally, I inform them and I am immediately challenged on this. One of my students … Continue reading

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Four Things That Need to Happen to Improve the 6N

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I’ve not blogged about anything other than the Chinese flu for while, and we’ve all had enough if that, haven’t we? So what else is there to talk about? Brexit? Ditto my comment above. Anyone got any ideas? Oh yeah … Continue reading

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My COVID DIARY – Part 2

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I left you, around three weeks ago with the cliff-hanger, that having returned to Poland, I had tested positive for the Chinese Flu. So, no doubt you are wondering – or, on the other hand, you may well not be … Continue reading

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MY COVID DIARY – Part 1

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PROLOGUE GOD sat in his office, cowboy boot clad feet on his desk, fuming. Christmas had been cancelled for the first time since Herod had ordered the Massacre of the Innocents. There was a knock at the door. ‘Come,’ GOD … Continue reading

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SAVING CHRISTMAS

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‘Right,’ said GOD, squeezing his ample frame into his two-for-the-price-of-one Ikea revolving office chair. He’d put on weight since this pandemic began. It wasn’t that his lifestyle had altered; it was just that making man in his own image had … Continue reading

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FEEDBACK – A SHORT STORY

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And so it came to pass on the seventh hour of the seventh day – as predicted in the scriptures – that GOD summoned his apostles to present their feedback. He supposed he really should have chosen a larger office, … Continue reading

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