POSTCARD FROM POLAND CORONAVIRUS DIARY, DAY 1 – LOCKDOWN APPROACHES

Day 74

Coronavirus – or Covid 19 as it’s better known, first appeared on 31st December 2019.

It’s is the last thing I want to blog about but I’m going to, for three reasons:

  1. I’m bored
  2. There’s nothing else to blog about … in fact there’s nothing else to do other than watch Covid 19 saturated news reports or stand in three hundred metre Soviet style queues, a metre and a half behind the person in front of you
  3. Opinions on Covid 19 have caused more social diversity than anything else since Thatcher split the population of the UK over the miners’ strike … hang on … aren’t I forgetting something? Duh … oh yeah, Brexit.

Let’s take the last point first. This is where my interest in Covid 19 starts and finishes.

There are currently two types of people in this world: Doom-mongers and Dissenters. 

Doom-mongers are those who believe that Covid 19 is the End-Of-The-World scenario they’ve been waiting all of their lives for, and they are secretly thrilled that it’s finally happening.

Your typical Doom-monger – as much toilet paper as i can carry

Doom-mongers can be of any age, can come from any socio-economic background and may even be intelligent and well educated.

They almost certainly believe in one or other conspiracy theory that has been knocking around: most likely the whole thing was either a planned attack on the Chinese economy by Trump, or that the Chinese did it to themselves to blame it on the Americans.

Doom-mongers believe that social isolation and total lockdown is the way to go and castigate the Italians for doing nothing about the spread of the virus. But what would you expect from a country that couldn’t make up its mind which side to fight for, whose politicians are morally and economically corrupt and whose citizens pay as much attention to the law as an American pays to healthy eating guidelines?

The only purpose of social isolation is to delay the spread of the disease so that hospitals and national healthcare systems will not be overrun. Once these restrictions are lifted – and God knows when that will be – the virus will pick up precisely where it left off. Gotcha.

Just to be on the safe side …
But what? No toilet paper?

And something else about Doom-mongers: those who live in the UK almost certainly will have voted for Brexit.

Dissenters believe that the outbreak of Covid 19 is barely newsworthy. In fact, if reporting on Covid 19 were to be banned (which sadly it won’t be) there would be a lot less misinformation, speculation and fear.

Dissenters consider that the media have played an irresponsible role in hyping up what is … okay, a rapidly spreading virus that is highly infections, but is unlikely to kill anyone who wasn’t likely to have died pretty soon anyway.

Not content with spreading wholesale panic sufficient to cause the UK to run out of toilet paper (why, in the name of God, toilet paper?) they proceed to Doom-monger about the global recession that is categorically guaranteed to follow.

Why not weave the re-booting of the Irish Troubles, Earth being struck by a planet-sized meteorite and Elvis being back in the building into the narrative?

You’ve probably worked out by now which camp I live in.

So what are things like in Poland?

Grim.

The Polish government has prepared for such a crisis with zero alacrity and Poland is as ready to meet imminent health care demands about as smoothly as the Titanic was prepared to collide with an iceberg. Very little money has been spent on improving an already overstretched and underfunded healthcare system, as the government favour the funding of social programs, the Catholic Church, and government run television stations. Healthcare, it would seem, is indeed a very low priority.

My gym – empty at last now all the students have gone home. Shame they had to close it

As a result, news last night that all bars, restaurants, gyms, cinemas and so on will be closed forthwith came as no surprise. Poland will close its borders from midnight tonight, and there is speculation – mostly amongst the Doom-mongers – that the country will shortly be divided into zones (cities being red zones, considered most likely to accelerate spread of the virus) and movement from one zone to another will be restricted.

All good news then.

At the end of each blog – and I promise not to blog every day, no matter how bored I become – I’m going to leave you with some information about how I intend to spent my day, or alternatively a few tips for activities you may like to try if – like me – you are attempting to pass your days  – and probably weeks – in a locked-down country in a state of never-ending torpor.

So here we go: 10 Exciting Things To Do Today:

  1. Get up
  2. ?
  3. ?
  4. ?
  5. ?
  6. ?
  7. ?
  8. ?
  9. Take empty cans and bottles to recycling bin
  10. Go back to bed

Wherever you are, stay safe, stay positive and trust no one.

Hasta pronto, chic@s!

Care to share?
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8 Responses to POSTCARD FROM POLAND CORONAVIRUS DIARY, DAY 1 – LOCKDOWN APPROACHES

  1. Cec Lowry says:

    Now then Grainger… I’ve seized the opportunity to write….surprised you are not doing the same… bit of light music in the background and a bottle…. got 2000 words done this morning…

    • Richard Grainger says:

      What came first? Bottle, light music or 2,000 words? I’ve virtually finished “Dave”, but I just need to be in the right mood for it. Live long and prosperI

  2. Mark Kenyon says:

    Dry droll, very true and sadly funny….but it relieved the boredom of being stuck in a very hot Atacama desert for a few minutes….I look forward to the next edition!

  3. Beverley Toland says:

    “unlikely to kill anyone who wasn’t likely to have died pretty soon anyway.” With a suppressed immune system likely to increase the symptoms for me Im glad you think this is ok!!

    Good to hear….!!

    • Richard Grainger says:

      Absolutely not Bev. But I would respectfully point out that this is a satirical piece and does not reflect the views of the author. Stay safe.

  4. David says:

    I am wondering how many of those decision makers have ‘Keep Calm and Carry on’ coffee mugs on their desks

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