Author Archives: Richard Grainger

“IT’S A RED, JIM, BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT”

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A friend of mine brightened my ablutions (okay, you don’t need to know that) with a text this morning. “Good morning,’ he texted, ‘read this quickly in an Irish accent: whale… oil… beef… hooked.” Go on – you try it; … Continue reading

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JUST HORSIN’ AROUND?

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A horse walks into a pub, takes a seat at the bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The barman pours him a pint and asks, “Why the long face?” There are long faces aplenty at Vilamoura Equestrian Centre … Continue reading

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SOCCER – THE BEAUTIFUL GAME?

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I’m in Barcelona. I’m here for two reasons: the first is that my wife decided to visit some friends who were staying the night here. The fact that these friends live in Poland in the town next to my wife’s, … Continue reading

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THE SLOW, PAINFUL DEATH… OF RUGBY

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I’ve not blogged for a while, because I’ve been busy with my ghost-writing project – you know, the one I can’t tell you about. But I’ve not forgotten that I owe you the follow-up blog about my new toy (in … Continue reading

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ALL AT SEA

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Amigos! This is a two-part blog. DAY ONE – ALL AT SEA I’m at sea as I write this. Somewhere in the middle of the Eastern Atlantic, off the west coast of France. I’m aboard the Galicia, operated by Brittany … Continue reading

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WON’T YOU PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME?

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WARNING: This is not one of my regular blogs, amigos! What it is, is a serious appeal for help; a plea for help addressed to my soccer-loving acquaintances in particular, and to anyone else who understands the game of soccer … Continue reading

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GENERATION Z AND THE RIGHT TO BE OFFENDED

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Do you want to know what worries me most about the world as it is at the moment? Probably not, but you’re going to hear it anyway. It’s not the soaring price of energy, nor is it Doby the House … Continue reading

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GET OUT OF JAIL – AND ADVANCE TO PRAGUE – IF YOU CAN FIND IT

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Now I know that some of you will deny that you envy my life here in Marbella. It’s the best place in the world, and I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. Except in August. In August it’s too hot, … Continue reading

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FAREWELL LETTER TO BORIS

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Dear Mr Johnson, I am writing to express my appreciation for the time you spent in office, and the contribution you made to the political legacy of this once great country. It can’t have been easy; in the three years … Continue reading

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BUSY DOING NOTHING …

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Workin’ the whole day throughTryin’ to find lots of things not to do I haven’t blogged for ages and here’s why: this post-pandemic world is in such a pitifully grim state that I felt incumbent not to depress you further. … Continue reading

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